Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
bring money and cleavage
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need to sanitize my soul.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
