Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
