CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
