Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Let's paint friendship bongs
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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