Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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