I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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