Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
