Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
