We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
