Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
