i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize
