Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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