So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
