My Higher Power is John Stamos
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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