How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
