I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
