I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
