Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
