I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
