I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
