I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize