we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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