i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
