I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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