It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
