i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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