Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
