i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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