there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
