oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
