we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Apparently you make a good broom.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
