in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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