So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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