There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
