did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
