well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
