Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Sponge bath it is.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
