She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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