Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
