i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
