Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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