The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
