I wanna bring you to show and tell
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
