If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize