TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Randomize
