Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize