i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
