I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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