Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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