mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
i believe in u and ur pee
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
