I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
