her vagine was all disorganized.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
