Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
