I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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