Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
