I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize