Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
