Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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