Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
