i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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