I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
false alarm, still single
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