i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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