we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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