They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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