Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
