girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
