dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
