$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You made out with two different species that night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Of course I have a pirate flag
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
